So|oiSt

2011-12-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

another year has passed.

anyway, lets start.

---

i am kind of sad that pageone's no longer operating in singapore when their flagship store closes in mid-feb.

had some sort of attachment to it; in fact, i think its the only reason why i would even consider going to vivocity at all. its one of those few stores where i can spend one to two hours easily glancing through books and spending quite a bit of money on it.

apart from kino, i dont think any other bookstores can compete with pageone's presentation and variety of books offered.

gotta stop by once or twice before it closes down for good.

ah, i know! when i go submit the supporting documents to NUS i'll stop by. el perfecto!

(and yes i went to the warehouse sale, and as i expected, it was a disappointment for me)

---

this final month has been a little bit exciting to say the least, with mom landing in hospital due to some sort of spinal infection just a day or two before going off to nz, compounded by the fact that almost everyone else went ahead with the holiday (save myself and the maid).

i dont blame them for going ahead to NZ, after all, its 4k per head; no refund whatsoever since the deposit has already been made in full months ago, and the withdrawal period has long past. besides, this happened without any warnings given.

my initial guess when i got wind that she got warded due to numbness was stroke, but fortunately it turned out to be spinal infection (not that it isnt serious, it is STILL serious, but relatively aint as bad as stroke)

so long story short, for that 1 to 2 weeks, i stopped by changi, and subsequently tan tock seng on evenings after camp to see her. fortunately still have ample (well didnt even use a single leave for the whole year) leave to clear, so it wasnt that bad for me. (and ladies and gentleman, this is why you do not spend your leaves aimlessly; you keep it for critical situations like this)

(on a completely unrelated note, visiting her while wearing no.3 does make me feel like public enemy #1; not that i mind, but its akin to wearing a signboard pointing towards me, saying "OH HEY GUYS LOOK AT ME, I AM A MILITARY PERSONNEL, PLEASE PUT MY FACE ON STOMP IF I DO ANYTHING WRONG")

(on another unrelated note, the differences between class B and A wards are worlds apart. i think even worlds apart might be an understatement actually.)

(on yet another unrelated note, the fish soup at the kopitiam is not bad. [well this is random but i thought i should put it out])

(ok one last random note - bought my first starbucks drink ever in the hospital, man what a blunder it was, ill talk more later)

in hindsight, even though landing in hospital does suck, i am glad that it happened in the sense that it gave me the opportunity to have some serious talk with my mom. things that i would never ever talk about when my brothers are around her, or with other strangers. personal talk, to put it bluntly.

normally i rarely talk to her, partly due to a lack of topics (i think this happens to almost everyone i meet, a problem of mine actually), and its kind of clear that she likes my 2nd bro more anyway (subject to debate of course, but thats from my perspective)

now she's out of the hospital, recovering at home for the next month.

---

anyway, first starbucks drink ordered in tan tock seng. (why would ttsh even allow such an establishment to set up in their premises, after all, starbucks isnt healthy persay)

well, being a greenhorn, i looked at the menu. and used the wrong format to order the drink that i wanted (i think it was some sort of chocolate chip drink or whatever, cant remember, it was that festive special thing). i used the espresso format (i.e. decaffeinated, hot/cold etc) to order that festive drink.

man, the look on the cashier was priceless when i tried to order my drink.

the cashier look at me as if i was some sort of person who lives under a rock (dont blame her though); after some attempts i told her i dont know how to order, she thought i didnt know what to have and started suggesting some drinks.

oh boy.

eventually i got the idea and knew how to order, and got my drink as wanted. brought it back to the room where my mom was and started eating dinner with her. (single room, so tons and tons of space to eat)

drink was too sweet to my liking, and definitely unhealthy by any standards.

lets just say that if possible, i want to make that the last drink i ever have from starbucks.

(their sandwiches are nice however, although overpriced - also something i dont want to buy again unless im dead hungry)

---

for the first 2-3 days after transferring from changi to ttsh (due to lack of neurologist specialists in changi), mom was stuck in b ward because of a lack of rooms available for a ward(sharing with 3 other patients in the same room; 4 beds per room)

without a doubt, my mom was arguably the best of shapes when compared to the other 3, which speaks volume about the physical conditions of the rest, given how serious her condition was.

two elderly ladies, one of which was frail and skinny, devoid of any emotions apart from the occasional writhing pain when the nurses administer the necessary medications, another having a bad fall off a bed and surrounded by medical equipments (yes a bed, its laughable when you're young, but 40, 50 years down the road you'll see how such a seemingly trivial event can be deadly).

the last lady... middle aged, younger than my mom for sure, but also pretty weak as well.

pretty sure all these ladies didnt want to get sick in the first place and the state at they're in right now. its pretty heartrending to see them in such a state even though i dont even know them at all.

when you are confronted by the same scene ad infinitum in other wards as well, its little wonder why its so easy to get sick in the hospital.

the sight of people suffering, the inability to help them whatsoever be it moral or medical support, that helplessness, is a major emotional dampener on the path to recovery.

---

did i mention that the window sights on the top floor of ttsh is... relaxing?

it overlooks the whole hospital, its specialist clinic wing and the main wing, and the other buildings as well. one of the particular building that left me impressed was this hotel with its intricate lighting display (think its called oasia hotel).

looking out of the window and into the dark void that's peppered with tons of lighting, its pretty soothing.

----

anyway, while this whole incident is something i wouldnt want to happen if possible, it was an invaluable experience for me.

---------------------------

hospital talk aside, this thought dominated my mind for the past half a year.

initially i thought this was a passing thought, you know, it'll probably go away over time. but now, i realized that this isn't as random as i expected.

who am i, and what do i want with myself? after all, im already 20, and i should know what i want, right?

i am not too sure what sparked off such a thought, but i find myself unable to answer that question for the past half year.

i really dont know.

looking back since primary school all the way to secondary, JC and now in NS, i feel like i've been moving along based on what others guide me to without question.

it... feels like my character, my personality, my identity is an amalgamation of others.

it feels like i am just a copy of all other people that i have met.

also, even up to now, i am still unsure of the goals that i truly want in life.

well, i know i want to be some sort of crazy director/researcher in a crazy research firm or industry.

but beyond that, are there still things that i really want?(material things aside, those aren't important in the greater scheme of things)

....i do not know.

no amount of help from others, nor theory from books can help me, for its a question that i must find out myself if i am to seek any form of closure.

------

perhaps when uni starts, the picture may become clearer in my mind.

it is therefore critical, that this question can at least be addressed, even if partially, when university starts.

i have 4 years to find out the answer to it, or if there is actually even an answer to it.

------

since its the norm to make a resolution at the start of each year, ill make one simple resolution for 2012.

i would like to die a little bit earlier.

now now, dont call the SOS hotline just yet, let me explain.

no, i do not have any suicide tendencies, and no i do not slash my wrists (for the record, suicide is such a cheesy method to end your life imo)

(also, no i am not going on a food binge to harm myself(only 1 fast food meal per month max condition still applies and as much veggies as possible per meal), and i still am going to exercise as well on a regular basis (min 3-4 times per week))

its just that there isnt much point living so long if it isnt that meaningful at all; i would rather have a shorter life but having a jam-packed, explosive barrage of activities and things to do to keep me occupied, and then die in an awesome blaze of glory (i hope)

besides, as you grow old you start to lose your faculties and mobility and stuff, and that basically isnt great at all.

all in all, im not going to find death.

instead, ill wait for death to knock on my door instead, and when that time comes, ill happily embrace eternal slumber.

until then, i think i know just the way...

------

seeing my godmother suffering from alzheimers disease is ... completely surreal.

in the span of just 1.5 year, she has gone from "oh its gary right" to "err its.... g...." to "............" (completely silent, all form of speech recoginition lost apart from voicing out basic needs like food, sleep)

if alzheimers isnt an official affliction, it would seem like something completely out from a fiction novel.

its... really frightening. it feels like a bad joke gone out of hand.

----

bought a piano from yahama this christmas.

while i am surprised by myself that i still can read music sheets (although very slowly), my hands are no longer as agile as it used to be (its kind of stiff actually).

well, nothing like a good, long piano practice alone does wonders to the mind and soul.

-------

went to visit the USS george washington again.

too bad didnt bring a camera along this time, but it is still just as impressive as the first time i visited in 2010.

pity this might be the last time i step foot on an aircraft carrier (maybe one last time before i leave service, but not confirmed)

------------

i would like to work overseas in time to come.

mainly for the experience i suppose. but i would also like to take a chance to live in some sort of rustic town where the population isnt that high.

would really like to live on my own someday.

----------

you know, if there is a life lesson to be learnt in the military, it would be that you can never fully trust anyone.

i am aware that its a rather extreme position, but a valid one.

it is so difficult for me to trust anyone, when i cannot fully determine their motive or intentions.

maybe thats why i dont really have that much friends in that sense.

maybe this is life's little joke for me. that is fine though, ill manage.

--------

even though im already 20, i still feel like i have the mentality of a primary 1 school kid.

like im just not mature enough. odd that those report cards that i had since secondary school says otherwise.

what does it really mean to be mature however? does it imply some sort of sacrifice or selflessness on one's part?

........this is no good. im walking in circles.

---------

well, spent 2 hours just trying to remember and typing it out.

blogger can really suck the time out of you if you're not careful, heh.

------------

i am still glad that i still have this blog after all this time.

its the only outlet where i can fully write what i want with no repercussions (of course, no racist remarks rule applies) whatsoever, and far away from the viewing eyes of others.

---------

i might seal off this blog eventually when the time comes.

maybe i could create a folder on the desktop and then type whatever i want on microsoft words, and then save into the folder.

not a bad idea actually.

or maybe i could just lock it up. works just as fine, granted that it doesnt get cracked by a codebreaker.

----------

well, that pretty much sums up this year.

2011-05-09T23:10:00.012+08:00

after this whole general election hoo-hah, i get the feeling that there is an anti-foreigner sentiment lingering in the air.

its more of like "OH COME ON FOREIGNERS, THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, ~~OUR WOMEN~~(well im not too sure about that but whatever), ~~BUT THEY WONT STEAL OUR DIGNI~~- GOD DAMN IT" and variations of it.

i can truly understand why though.

the day after the election, during dinner, i ate out with my mother and my bro (hey, he's now a full-fledged teacher now! +500 x 10^50 respect points) at a nearby zhi char stall since tampines mall/century square was too crowded due to mothers day. (besides, in my honest opinion, most of the f&b outlets are overrated, and overpriced as well)

she was talking about how her colleague's son, who had graduated from NUS EE(electric engine) with a 2nd upper, had been struggling to find a job. it seems that according to my mom, he had went for various job fairs and was largely unsuccessful. when he actually got a job interview, the biggest stumbling block was apparantly the monthly pay. with his degree, he was offered 1.8k/m. when asked why such a low pay was offered, the employer simply pointed out that there were foreigners with the same/better qualifications who are willing to work for that amount hence the same offer was made to him.

i have two opinions on this issue:

1) 1.8k per month with a 2nd upper degree in my honest opinion, is no better than having just an o level cert and going into the workforce. in short, he studied in vain. (after all, the purpose of studying is to acquire a better paying job in the workforce, is it not?) (well, studying is partially a hobby for me but who cares)

2) with current cost of living, 1.8k is barely sustainable.

it is indeed unfortunate that such a situation is occuring right now.

i should keep my options open to beyond singapore, and work harder as well.

(in hindsight, i should push myself to pick up another language proficiency ; in this society where self-improvement is the keyword, bilingualism just doesnt cut it anymore.)
---

also, during dinner, my bro brought up his experiences during his teaching stint (for the past 6-12 months as a trainee teacher in a secondary school) [and no, i wont name the school but its your typical fully-government subsidized school].

he mentioned that almost 40% of the students relied on copouns in order to get their daily food, and that he had encountered a particular problematic student while teaching. (i mean no malice to the student here, but i cant think of any other way to describe the student other than problematic based on what i heard from my bro.)

first thing that came to my mind is the staggering percentage of students still relying on copouns. and i thought copouns was so 1980s to 1990s when singapore's economy was yet to be a full-fledged one.

fourty percent. thats 2 in 5.

i know that our economy is indeed impressive with positive growth on GDP's and what not, but if thats the case, they how is it even remotely possible that within a school itself, there is such a disproportionate amount of students/families who are still that poor to have to rely on copouns. it is indeed a tragedy that while our economy is stellar, the benefits are not uniformly spreaded across the general populace.

i can only hope that his school is the only anomaly in the island.

---

there are some students with a less-than-optimal family background, who can truimph such adversity to achieve success in life. unfortunately, in reality, there will always be the other group of students who languish in poverty and are unable to achieve or unlock what could be their true potential in life.

this brings me to the 'problematic' student that my brother faced.

this so-called problematic student is your sterotypical 'bad' student - sleeps in class, wouldn't even look at his assignment, skips classes, poor grades.

however, when my brother dug further into this student's background, he is not a 'bad' student actually - it is just that his family background isnt great, with his parents not giving a damn about him, quoting (as what my brother said) "oh, if you want to cane him go ahead, no problem". i am not in a position to judge, but i guess that his family background had a strong negative impact on the student and his well-being.

my bro took great pains to give him a 1-to-1 lesson after school (because he just sleep through the classes in the morning), sometimes even up to 8-9pm. somehow, the boy made small, but definite improvements in his grades.

at the last day of my bro's stint, apparantly the boy apologized to him for causing trouble. in his true bastardery (lolmadeupword), he said "i glad you knew".

in short, all 'bad' students are not 'bad' - i believe that they wouldn't choose this path either if their surrounding factors and conditions were more favourable.

and mad respect for my brother. sure we arent exactly talking that well - we usually only talk out of home, but its a great personal sacrifice for him. i respect that.

and also, i am glad to had such great teachers along the way throughout the years to guide this wayward boy (me) from such issues.

thanks.

(oh dear, this is derailing into a OH LOOK, MY BRO IS AWESOME NOW BOW BEFORE HIM post, but i have to admit that teachers have the most noble (and hardest) job in the world)

(and yes, on double-reading this again, i feel that this post is a tad broken i.e. incoherent but oh well)

----

oh yes, i sprung a trick on my grandmother.

i asked her: "do you hate the opposition (in the constituency)?"

she replied that she prefered the current incumbent government.

"good! later when you go to the polling station, prove how much you support the incumbent by putting a big fat cross on the opposition to show that you want to cross out the opposition."

unfortunately, she saw through it and gave me a slap.

oh snap.

----

i've been to the opposition rally in bedok and tampines last week, and i have to admit that that the atmosphere is something that is very, very difficult to replicate.

we live in such exciting times.

----

am still waiting for news from the nus front. oh come on, if you wanted to award it to someone else please do it, dont leave me hanging. :/

---

you know, if anything, NS taught me to be more resourceful.

having said that, less than 1 more year to go! charge on!

---

oh great, i am out of stuff to type again.

ill type again sometime in the future when i have some thoughts to pen down.

(ha ha ha silly gary, how can you pen down something on the internet? you aint even using a pen to write persay)

2010-12-06T23:43:00.002+08:00

parents and maid out for holiday.

i like the fact that i have the whole house to myself for the entire week.

---

browsed through youtube for good piece of piano works.

and then i stumbled onto this program labelled Synthesia.

i feel rather tempted to purchase a digital keyboard to come with the program.

but then again i wouldnt know where to put that damn stuff, with the entire desk space being eaten by my computer.

good grief, i really missed playing the piano for once.

---

since parents aren't around, and there's no one to stop me from doing stupid things, its time to play IRON CHEF. =D

i bought all the materials needed for a simple plate of pasta.

...actually on second thoughts, i havent bought the cheese yet. OH GOD THE CHEESE. HOW COULD I FORGET.

oh well, ill buy after the badminton session.

---

although its already 2010, i still cant shake off the 2009 mentality.

---

almost a year in NS.

after all the thrills and spills, i got to admit its still an overall positive experience so far.

till now, i really really apperciate/liked my commanding officer for placing me on a free guided tour on a uss george washington aircraft carrier back in mid august.

even though they didnt show us the reactor core (its bloody nuclear for gods sake, not even PPE's that i wear can save my life adequetely), it was still awesome.

cant wait for the next aircraft carrier to hit base!

---

i wonder if my CT has seen my email..

---

bought even morrrrre books from kino. joy to the world!

about 100 bucks worth of books. looks like im moving ever closer to a mini-library at home!

money well spent in my opinion, as compared to buying random computer games that provide temporary distraction (well i still play some though which are compelling).

---

almost a month left to the traffic police test.

i should take my remaining lessons with utmost seriousness.

---

it feels really nice to have the whole house quiet for now.

to some degree it feels like time has stopped momentarily, allowing me to regain my composure and momentum as the world continues to progress at a breakneck speed.

in short, it feels zen.

2010-09-15T21:26:00.004+08:00

to begin with, lets look at the definition of speculation:

spec·u·la·tion (spky-lshn) n.

1.

a. Contemplation or consideration of a subject; meditation.
b. A conclusion, opinion, or theory reached by conjecture.
c. Reasoning based on inconclusive evidence; conjecture or supposition.

2.
a. Engagement in risky business transactions on the chance of quick or considerable profit.
b. A commercial or financial transaction involving speculation.

i think most people, if not all, have seen the effects of speculations in the world economy. we've seen market crashes because of it, artificial price spikes resulting in the lower classes being reduced to almost nothing, and this list goes on ad infinitum.

i believe that is pretty well established.

however, i think what needs to be highlighted/mentioned is speculations on other people.

speculating on others could well be a potentially dangerous move. reason being that it could ruin/troll the person affected pretty badly.

lets assume this hypothetical scenario.

person W, X , Y and Z are all workers in an office. person W and Z are seniors.

person W noticed that person X's work performance has been slipping rather drastically, and concluded that it was because of Y's charm that resulted in his mediocre performance based on some rumour.

person W complains to person Z, who is Y's boss.

Y then breaks this news to others outside the office.

now, one could potentially see how this situation could spiral out of control should either X or Y, or even both realize of this issue? it might give rise to an awkward work environment, or at the worst-case scenario, negative behaviour which results in a further decrease in work standards.

fortunately, this is just a hypothetical situation, but i suppose there are others who have faced worse.

at this juncture, i would like to make a disclaimer here; i am all okay with the act of speculating - it is impossible to stop anyone, or everyone from speculating about things. besides, you can even argue that it is human nature to just make assertions from thin air (sometimes).

however,a caveat must be issued here - i cannot stress how dangerous it is; its akin to walking on thin ice.

in short, you are free to make speculations, but be ready for the fallout that comes with it. its a ticking time bomb that is just awaiting to explode.

---

hey, life in the army in conjuction with jc life does teach you some invaluable life lessons.

---

back to reading, enough musings.

2010-08-07T22:40:00.003+08:00

birthday today.

things done:

lazing at home/playing computer games
reading books
studying for driving/reading on permutations
running at bedok reservoir/east coast
eating cup noodles for dinner

all by myself.

i wish every single day was this peaceful.

2010-08-04T22:56:00.002+08:00

had a pretty embarassing moment in facebook.

you might think "OH LOL, IS THAT EVEN REMOTELY POSSIBLE" unfortunately it is.

out of boredom, i kinda checked facebook and basically scour through all the front page news.

so i checked out one of my former friend's photo gallery, and while browsing i accidentally clicked 'liked' on one of the photos.

basically, when you 'like' or type a comment or something facebook has this apparant knack of informing that person like as if it was a life-and-death scenario and that person has to know it immediately, as a result it leaves no room for error for 'unliking' it.

so ultimately she was aware of it, i wasn't, cue awkward moment.

long story short, i screwed up. way to go gary!

things to learn from this (embarassing) moment:

1) i should watch where i click and
2) dont use facebook too often. dont use facebook too often. dont use faceobok too often. dont use facebook too often. its bad enough that i'm cultivating a more nosy behaviour by looking at what others do when it isnt necessary at all.

..perhaps i should self-impose an ip ban on facebook on my own internet.

---

my superior handed me a book on human resource management from some uni.

by the end of this two years, i would probably end up adept enough to pick up a business degree as well! LOL

but seriously though, whats with those weird business practices like just-in-time method or whatnots, they dont exactly make much sense irl.

oh whatever, doesnt matter. i'm just like 1/250th into the book itself anyway.

---

the trip to the medical centre was fun.

having a instant-ticket to see a doctor with minimal downtime, seeing a splitting image of my brother as the medical officer (and his attitude is also the same as well), getting my blood drawn twice just because they can, and a first timer NSF doing the honors of taking my ribena-colored blood.

man, that was fun.

---

oh did i mentioned that my very first practical lesson outside the circuit was also so exciting?

from ubi to temasek poly and to the industrial zone and back. striked the kerb once (yes just once, it isnt that bad i swear) on the right turn heading to bedok reservoir.) stuff's exhilarating when your driving instructor has a pretty interesting/loony personality as you.

driving can be fun, as long as your instructor is awesome.

"driving is like working in the SAF, you can do anything on the road, just dont get caught" -driving instructor

---

running at east coast at night feels zen.

nobody's around but yourself. feels great man.

---

laptop LCD screen spoilt. :( lines on the right half of the screen itself.

---

in life, i learnt two things:

when in doubt, smile, and move on.

when in trouble, smile, and move on.

---

sent two emails to my teachers requesting for their appraisal.

talk about being late (missed this year's application) but fortunately there's still next year.

i should wake up and realize that i was, and am still a minnow all this time.

wonder if they have responded to it anyway. hopefully they do but even if they dont i won't hold any hard feelings against them; anyway, i should had approached them earlier.

after all, i dont intend to leech on my parents for much longer either. its all fun and games if you leech on them until they depart from this realm.

---

thats enough musings for now.

i think this post was made in an attempt to remove some guilt on me regarding the facebook fiasco. LOL.

2010-07-25T08:27:00.001+08:00

college day.

at first, i was looking forward to it. everyday before then, i couldn't wait for the time to pass quickly such that today would come.

flash forward, all the way to today.

MJC has moved on, and all in the right direction. it even has a spunky museum (more like a gallery rather at the former atrium where i once studied/joke around with friends, photos all in facebook).

however, it then dawned on me that i have yet to move on. that was a fact which is literally, totally unmistakable.

somehow, i wished i had followed some of my friends and not attend the event.

from sitting in LT4 for the briefing to the moment i saw people queuing up for the academic awards, that sinking feeling which i am all too familiar with starts to creep in again.

that sinking, miserable feeling.

its that 'oh so close yet so far' feeling when you know that you're just centimetres away from achieving it but you fail to do so.

to put it in flowery language, there's this seemingly boundless void in my mind which somehow cant be mended even with a generous dosage of optimism.

the more i sat at that chair watching people go up the stage, the more my mind starts to scream at me for being incompetent.

eventually, it pretty much got the better of me, turning this supposedly proud moment as mentioned by miss lai, into the exact polar opposite. to others, it may be a glorious moment, but to me, it was a day of defeat, a day of commemoration for my own failure.

once i took the medal, i could no longer allow this guilt to gnaw at me any further. i basically retreated back into the control room, a place which i once called home, a place which i previously sought solace and respite from the world.

this time round however, it could not shelther me from the intensity of this scar that exists in my mind.

this feels bad.

---

after college day, i took a step back, and sent a question to NUS regarding scholarship issues.

something which i kinda ignored but realized how foolish i am.

---

had a pretty ok meal with zixi and khye at the hk cafe in white sands.

---

2010-07-19T23:47:00.005+08:00

bro's graduation ceremony last, last sunday.

those bloody, god forsaken lions cost a whopping $50 bucks! good grief, i think i found the best way to rip off people beside gambling!

admittably, i must say that they look nice though.

so i and my mother was sitted in the auditorium, and she started browsing through the catalogue of graduates from all faculties.

one of her colleague's son, who studied law, not only got first class honours, but also bagged a metric ton of accolades and achievements.

so basically my mom was like "woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow, look at how awesome my friend's son is, like how he omgwtfpwnd the whole cohort and making everyone else look like clowns."

'well, in 6 years time, ill bag whatever bloody achievements as well for you to see.' i quipped.

she scoffed momentarily, believing that it was a joke, until she (probably) realized that i wasn't really joking.

it was then that wry smile made way for a rather benevolent one.

could it be a sign of confirmation? i dont really know to tell the truth.

however, i felt a certain warmth in her smile.

---

kudos to my bro, who got 2nd upper honours! gogo bro! (even though we may not see eye to eye fully sometimes, but you still have my respect ./salute)

---

yesterday, i get asked this: "hey gary, why even bother trying so hard when at the end of the day it isn't recognized or appericiated?"

i have an answer to him, but i just have no intention to put them into speech.

instead, i shall say it here.

indeed, i can always strive for mediocrity and heck care my way through for all that it matters, for at the end of the way, i am still paid.

but this begs the question - why even strive for mediocrity when i can possibly do the best i can for everything in life?

i'm pretty confident that he doesn't have an answer to that.

perhaps he could possibly counter that by saying that i am being pretty much naive and such wishful thinking would probably be gone once i enter the workforce.

well, i can only hope that i remain that naive by then and not be swayed by society.

---

watched inception with alvin and zixi yesterday.

its moments like this i am glad i didnt drop KI.

without KI, i believe my understanding/appericiation of the movie would diminished significantly.

sometimes, i think KI is responsible for causing me to be cynical. haha.

its a nice movie overall. somehow it reminds me of the very fundamentals of epistemology (descarte's dreaming argument!) my god, why am i still talking about KI even after almost a year already-

---

i think thats about enough musings for now.

gotta get some more sleep.

2010-06-30T00:18:00.004+08:00

every time going into base, and going out of base, the shuttle bus always drives along the outskirts of the airport runway.

everyday, i get to see a plane taking off into the wild blue yonder.

someday, i long to be in one of those planes and explore the world.

one day, i shall achieve that.

today, i shall walk towards that goal, one step at a time.

2010-06-28T23:43:00.003+08:00

i learnt that the best way to understand the concept of humility is to suffer a defeat of some sort.

it is only in defeat, in which we truly grasp the concept of humility.

---

sometimes, i do wonder how exactly my future would pan out.

knowingly that every single action could possibly alter the future does make me think twice.

i can only hope that i can set out to achieve them, and not ask for it.

ultimately, it is just up to me to make it possible.

isnt that sad? heh, no complaining, gary!

---

i cant exactly wait for my friend to start his term in university.

not that i'm going into uni anytime soon, just that i can borrow his textbooks and have something to study for while in camp, and ensuring that my fundamentals are still there.

possibly some of you might be thinking "you gotta be joking, you still have about 1.5 years to go, why not just wait till then?"

sorry, dont intend to put my life on hold.

---

i am determined to make my first foray into stock market by the end of this year.

i should have the necessary kitty to purchase about 1000 stocks and have enough surplus in the event of unforeseen contingencies.

perhaps i ought to ask my dad first before doing so.

he should be pretty experienced in this stuff.

---

mom bought a tie for me at metro for bro's graduation photoshoot, ceremony and my return trip to mj. (talk about a 3-in-1 conveinence, heh)

didnt choose, but it looks pretty cool.

i wished she bought a black or a white tie though.

then again, is there really a all-white or a all-black tie? i wonder.

---

holy shit, my bro got attached to dunman to teach for two full months!

oh my.

i do wonder if miss kwek or mdm koh knows that my bro is related to me. just wondering. heh.

anyway he has the cool-lookin' blood-red dunman tie which exudes an unspeakable level of awesomeness that even using words to describe it doesnt do it justice.

man, i wish i own one of those.

man, i wish i was a teach- oh nevermind.

---

studying for basic theory test.

---

had a nice session of board games at alvin's house the previous saturday.

---

after my driving test is settled, im going to kino to buy more books to celebrate this minor respite. :D

go go gary, ace the test for your own sake!

---

oh remember about the minor social experiment that i mentioned months ago?

it seem that it is true to a certain degree that people do look twice at me or ocasionally give way to me - dont really know if its out of fear or disbelief (perhaps they may be thinking WTF is this fool wearing this attire), but with a certain degree of confidence, i can simply assert the following statement:

people generally are scared of people in authority, especially when they wear attires that exemplifies their power.

(note: may not apply to others)

(note: do not attempt to flame me on the potential fallacies and inaccuracies concerning this experiment, i know i know, the target audience (or victims) are generally people in the east, and may possibly not apply to the whole of singapore, or heck, even the world of this world!)

(note: this was just done out of boredom. nothing else, really. i swear!)

---

alright, enough musings, perhaps ill write more some time later.

2010-05-24T13:55:00.003+08:00

navy open house was a blast.

i like the navy. :)

what better things then to:

1) see uncle teo (DPM) in person and smiling at me (no i am positively sure he was, no, im not halluinating). he is really, really tall. dwarfed most of the people in the room.

2) see the chief of navy as well (he looks pretty suave as he is in the intranet portal) along with the guards commander.

3) see tons of distinguished buggers from parliament (great time to hold them and vent all your complaints but no)

4) interact with the public (although at times those ignorant little buggers make me want to punch them and shove them down the pier and into the sea)

5) what better than to play an exciting game of monopoly deal with my sir's (only to get myself pwnd "OI PRIVATE, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO YOUR SIR") and watch 4 back-to-back movies during peacetime (aka no contingency)

6) i drived and parked a battery cart without a license! shit, now i know why everyone plays daytona in arcades - it must be to improve their driving!

[gary gains experience. gary gains a level in driving.]

7) this is how it feels like to be in a weapons factory/workshop. feels great man.

all in all, a well spent 4 days worth of work.

---

then i was given a day's notice on sat to do ordnance work for a military funeral today.

(ordnance work is basically the flag carrier/beret carrier/(some big cap thingy) and medal carrier for the deceased).

took a mrt straight down to queenstown to the deceased sir's wake and hitched a ride from another sir once there.

it was pretty intense, from the deceased's void deck all the way to the creamatorium.

apparantly it was a christian funeral so there was a whole load of gospels and singing involved as well.

events over at the void deck went smoothly.

hitched another ride to mandai.

the creamatorium, if not for its distinct labels like "ASH COLLECTION", would have been mistaken as a observation post. a beautiful one at that too.

standing at attention position for over 2 hours straight with no concept of time available can be really a mental challenge.

even though i dont know this guy (he was already in hospital by the time i arrived in changi and died of cancer last thursday), i have nothing but respect for him. the fact that the other sir's have nothing but praises for him speaks volume for his character. for that i truly respect him.

i felt that my perception on life and everyday life had changed moderately when i saw some sir's just shedding tears when the coffin was being transported to the creamatorium. its ... just heartwrenching, to put it mildly.

after that, a nice treat by BSM to chicken rice at ang mo kio and a free ride back home.

---

from today's trip to the funeral, i feel enlightened.

for starters, i wouldn't want anyone to cry when i die. its selfish of me to inflict more sorrow on others when im already gone.

to that, i will keep in mind the next time i write a will, i'll make sure that those buggers in charge are gonna play songs like Never Gonna Give You Up or (insert said funny songs) and not some weird chants.

yep, its official. rick astley is going to power my funeral should the time comes.

---

gonna go swim later.

last week only exercised once. i blame open house preparation and open house itself. :(

---

still havent decided on which uni yet.

oh bloody hell, choices!

2010-05-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

scholarship or a *relatively* more prestigious course?

not that i need the money, but its just that i could be less of a prick and reduce my financial dependence on my parents.

oh, choices.

---

navy open house!

i'm going all out for the 4 days under logistics.

wonder if i'll see anyone i know.

---

ok gotta sleep, tomorrow's is going to be hot.

reeeeeeeeeal hot.

2010-04-27T23:13:00.003+08:00

since i have a bloody load of time in the NS, having being reposted from (insert said classified camp) to changi, i figured that this is a good time to learn something.

i intend to specialize in either japanese or german first, but i cant seem to decide which to go first.

while tackling both at the same time seems practical, i would rather take the time to devote on one first before going for dual specialization.

after all, working in germany/japan is on the cards, given that i have truly decided my path (which is still in flux).

sometimes, a coin toss is the best way.

---

still reading neil humphrey's Be My Baby

despite the possible negative connotations with its book title, its a good read.
---

i should also keep myself fit by swimming/running this friday.

gotta force self in order to make self fitter.

--

back to reading.

2010-04-25T00:54:00.005+08:00

so somehow time just passed rather fast.

just in a flash, my time in tekong draws to an end, and i guess it is safe to conclude that it will be quite a while before i would return.

i guess i'll miss the area, the food (i cannot really express my surprise in admitting this, but the food was way above what i expected), the people (yep, cant remember names, i'm a true sucker for remembering names), the sergeants, the SSG's and the 2IC's (who were exceptionally kind and pulled all the stops to teach even if it means having to be the bad guy. grats to jabez (sp?) for the promotion from 3rd sergeant to 2nd anyways.)

i think this entire escapade taught me some things.

for starters, i realized that i have a conflict of personal interests.

..

i dont really want to pen/type this down for now. i think ill keep it to myself first.

sorry gary (from the future).

(nope, i do not wish to just backspace everything, for i would be lying if i were to just take it that this didn't happen when i reexamine again the past.)

---

there's so many things i feel compelled to say to others, but i seem to be bound to some gag order (no, its not any military secret, just personal stuffs).

a gag order which i cant seem to lift.

---

went to kinokuniya to buy 4 more books for personal enjoyment.

pretty much overdue but i could use some time just reading and making myself detached from the world temporarily.

when i finally get used to my new vocation, i shall make an effort to transform my room into a mini-library with that nice oak smell permeating in the room itself as a bonus.

hopefully my parents will provide the kitty for it though. heh.

---

since i'm now in the navy with my no.3 uniform, i think this is the best time to start a social experiment.

a social experiment to see if what i have learned in KI does apply.

basically, i would like to test if a person wearing an official uniform (i.e. navy uniform, army, police, (insert any uniform which would indicate a person of authority)) would warrant a different reaction from the public (i.e. fear, moving away from you and so on.)

note that i'm still a private and as such do not have any rank on my uniform.

since the chance is already here, i think this is the best time to test it as well.

of course, i will not do any actions which would warrant fear itself (like staring at others).

in order to make this a relatively fair test, during the trips to and fro, i will

1. stand straight throughout the entire journey, no sitting down(torture in the name of science!)
2. no staring at others, just looking blankly into space (and occasionally glancing at others to see their reactions)
3. *try* to look as solemnly as possible (which i can do easily just by listening to piano/japanese songs)

this is obviously a interpretative/critical social science (ISS/CSS) angle, as my test subjects (heh civilians, ha ha) obviously changes from day to day, and im the only poor/miserable/crazy bastard performing this test.

this will be a fine test to prove that the ISS/CSS stance isn't that weak as the positivist SS as i would had believed during JC.

---

i did it.

even though the odds were there, i really did it.

i did it.

thanks bro (even though i am a wuss and feel rather embarrased to say it to you in person even though we're just a door away from each other).

thank you so much for the advice.

---

i still believe that my attitude could use some improvements.

i still believe that i could still be firm yet nice and kind at the same time.

i still believe that i could still be tactful in what i say as well.

i still believe that there is still room for self improvement.

am i naive/misguided to believe that whenever something goes wrong, its all my fault and i should correct myself first before correcting others?

---

history assignment cleared!

$ bonus from college, woo! XD

maybe i can help them do more since im having a 8-5.30 job anyway for the next two years.

well maybe.

--

thats enough musing for now.

2010-04-04T00:44:00.004+08:00

oh snap, another history assignment by the school.

well at least i got something to do before enlistment, and its for a good cause too!

---

nowadays whenever i see students in uniform i have that tinge of bittersweetness in my heart.

this just in: i miss schooling.

---

as a result of boredom i decided to go on a book rampage.

bought two books from giant (yes they DO sell books at giant).

blazed through diary of a wimpy kid like a hot knife through butter within 2 hours.

now to read the other slightly profound outliers .

seems like an interesting, partial-philosophy book on the concept on success and failure.

ignorance is blitz is also another great pseudo-history book too.

---

i think i have a penchant for schadenfreude-esque books.

i mean seriously, who in the right mind would claim that hitler was a jew lover? >.<

--

i wanna go borders someday with some people to buy books.

buying books = shopping therapy to me. LOL WHAT

---

still waaaaaaaaaaiting on the appraisal form.

go go mr ng!

--

ok enough rambling.

going back to history mode again.

2010-03-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

is it weird, or do i just hate crowds in general?

i find myself feeling relatively crossed just having to nagivate myself through the sea of people in both NUS/NTU open house and in shopping malls (aka jurong point).

well, crossed enough to almost lash out at my friend.

sorry joel!

perhaps i am those individuals that prefer quietness. strange, huh?

---

the history prof in NUS is really a cool chap. nice to talk with.

i mean seriously, that guy is just drop dead awesome. same to the psycho lecturer too.

---

but then i got hooked on the science talk in NUS.

i think i can see why he picked that course to begin with. he made a wise choice (salutes bro)

but then again, why did he picked up the MOE scholarship so late into his studies, knowingly that there is a option to take it up right at the start? =/

i think ill keep this question to myself out of respect.

---

somehow i feel that having just one choice/no choice is easier than having multiple choices.

saves me the trouble of having to consider every single possible aspect.

---

so my friend was talking to me on msn, and i told him "brb, writing up a blogpost", his response was "OMG WUT GUYS DONT WRITE BLOGS FFS SRSLY".

i just gave him a >:( and a "real man blogs for his own personal amusement".

personally i think its better for me to express my emotions through this channel, knowing that i'm largely an introvert at heart.

it then dawned on me that not many guys do blog after all.

scratch that, not many guys and girls blog after all.

=/

---

still thinking if another trip to NUS is needed to acquire more info.

---

alright, enough musings for now.

2010-03-10T00:09:00.002+08:00

so where do i really begin?

--

writing a CV/personal statement is harder than i expected...

---

so yes, with me feeling rather moody, i decided to watch Crazy Hearts.

watching through this entire movie somehow lifted my spirits to a certain degree.

i feel slightly liberated.

---

i also learned that swimming and running at the same day is not a good idea.

---

actually you know what? i shouldnt be here.

i should be picking up that damn pen and continue writing that CV.

pick up the pen, gary.

pick it up.

2010-03-08T02:09:00.002+08:00

this isnt you gary, to feel this empty.

this isnt you, gary.

SNAP OUT OF IT.

2010-03-08T01:22:00.004+08:00

this will be a rather long post, since i think that blogging would be the best way to express my personal thoughts and emotions, considering that i'm an introvert.

--

so i begin with the obvious.

a level results.

no didnt shake miss lai hand (blow one), no only got a B for history(blow two), only got B for KI (blow three), only got 2 h2 a's (blow four).

neither of them really mattered (aside from blow one which i have a grudge actually,lol).

blow five: she got 3A's instead.

i felt like a part of me just died when she managed to do that, and i simply couldn't.

pride? maybe.

inferiority? perhaps.

its not like we're REALLY on close terms in all honesty, its just that well, i kind of adore/like/(insert word that is close to infatuation but not exactly so) her.

partially thats why i came to mjc after all and rejecting tj.

so am i happy that my grades can make into a course that i would probably enjoy? yeah sure.

but when i think about her and how she can pull off such a feat and yet i couldn't...

well, lets just say that it has left me with this void for the past few days, and i just cant shrug it off.

i dont know.

i kind of like her, but for the past 3-4 years when we first met, i just didnt have that chance to convey to her.

do i regret? yes.

if only i could even muster some courage to speak to her.

'if only' - what a great ficticious term that could rekindle hope even in the bleakest hour!

---

on another front, parents slammed me for such a lacklustre performance.

no surprise there, i myself am also disappointed to that degree as well.

but once again, it simply leaves a deeper chasm/void in my heart that would take a bit of time and soul searching to mend.

time is a miracle drug that mends stuff rather well.

--

and YET on the same topic, i find that my parents have this RAGE over SMU for no particular reason.

they seem hellbent on dissuading me from going there.

well, lucky for them, i'm not really a business person after all.

besides, after attending the entire open house yesterday, i can only conclude that SMU isnt it for me.

campus is way too fragmented as a whole to begin with.

---

i think i might follow suit and take my brother's course in NUS...

(starts kop-ing textbooks and notes on the shelves and read it secretly)

---

NS enlistment - a whole fiasco.

still waiting, after that unfortunate delay. perhaps unfortunate is an understatement.

meh.

---

completed my history stuff for the school.

dont think there's anything else available to be done, but as usual, i can only ask, and not demand for it.

---

so, even after clearing a levels, and even after having a comfortable score that would secure a course of my liking, it still feels wrong.

my heart feels rather heavy (figuratively, not literally of course).

and to some extent, i feel rather lost. as in a lack of sense of direction (again, not meaning that i'm not street-wise, but rather a lack of goals and ambitions)

to this end, i've removed/thrashed all present goals and ill draft out a new set sometime later when i find it.

being an introvert just doesnt help with such problems that i face, huh? haha.

---

i think i might bother to write a CV/personal statement just for that faculty scholarship.

this might help me to pass time.

---

again, if you ask me, she's one of a kind.

i highly doubt that i will EVER be able to find someone with her unique personality.

she simply exudes this aura that all other girls simply dont. i cant really explain it but still.

oh god damn it gary, snap out of this!

---

i think ill blog more some time later.

typing this post at 1+ in the morning does have some effect on what i blog.

for starters, it makes me more emotional than usual, hence this entire tirade of post length.

well, i cant really go on now, for i now do feel the emotional blues.

ill pick this up sometime later.

2010-01-24T20:05:00.002+08:00

returning back to college tomorrrow to clear some paperwork.

---

i found THE solution to run fast!

*run to the tune of indiana jones*

da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da

i swear it helps, it improves my running by about 15%*! no joke!

note: results may vary from person to person o.o

----

making a trip to CMPB within this week to turn in this memo from the doc.

hopefully they wont just chuck my letter aside and give it some attention it deserves.

---

oh my time as a free person is ending soon. such bittersweet feelings.

2010-01-20T21:01:00.007+08:00

there is something interesting that i find it worthy to post here for remembrance.

---

so yes, i've been running at the park near to my house for about a month plus.

anyway, usually when i jog from 6.30 to 7.30 i will almost always see this girl from mj* walking through the park as well probably heading back home i suppose.

so everytime i saw her while jogging, i always have this urge to say hi or smile at her as a means of a friendly gesture.

i still remember the very first encounter where i first saw her walk across the park while jogging and i turned back my head and wondered 'hey you look very, very uncannily familiar'.

i think i remember her turning back her head as well the first time but it could be me.

but after that subsequent paranormal encounter that i started to adopt a 'meh' mentality.

that urge to say 'hi' or to smile was replaced with a 'hey you know what gary? screw it, just run first, ns/(insert any other serious business like working in school etc) matters more than a girl'. LOL.

note:
as usual, i might be wrong about my assertion which i am more than happy to acknowledge and am willing to rectify as well, but i really really think that she's from MJ.

well, i think so. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

anyway if i were to take one step further, my (probably smart guess) would be that she was one of my friend's friend in ava as well.

to take an even bigger step, i think she's from 08S501.

well, i dont think any of her friend/cca friend or she herself would see this, knowing that this blog is generally a safe place for my own musings, hey, no harm posting this!

besides, i believe that not much would read this, making this pretty much a 'for self-amusement' diary for my own. LOL

---

anyway, i have a new goal in 2012 (hurrah, i will ORD in december 2011 if nothing goes wrong). that is , to pick up cooking.

at this point i think most, if not all people would say "WHAT WTF IS THIS, THE MAYANS MUST HAVE IMPLODED YOUR SANITY, THIS AINT THE GARY THAT I KNOW OF".

well in all honesty, i'm kind of a food buff and i kind of like food.

i would like to see the day where i am able to prepare western food/other genres of food for myself at home and create one that surpass hawker standards.

hey, at least it aint a pipe dream! LOL.

probably get myself hooked on to those CC-led cooking classes.

at least this serve as a nice motivation to pull through NS.

---

almost going into ns soon.

---

a level results are coming soon as well.

i kind of worry.

---

well thats enough musings for now.

oh and i still cant find a suitable blogskin at the moment to replace this one yet.

i have no intention to create my own until after i ORD from NS. hurrah for laziness!

2010-01-15T22:20:00.003+08:00

my right ankle is hurting, yet the physio doc just couldn't diagnose it.

i just hope that i get a redress on it before i enter ns on 5th feb.

---

anyway, on the topic of ns, it brings out my jekyll-hyde personality (well i do admit that i actually have split personalities).

part of me dreads it, part of me simply says "you know what? lets go in and have a blast of a time, getting to shoot bullets and stuffs are cool stuff".

while i did try to prepare for NS since early december, i simply fear that it is not enough.

(training includes morning + evening, 2.4km x 2, 60 situps x2, 60 pushups x2, 10 pullups x2 and some other random stuff but that is the average for each half)

i even tried the less conventional areas to run like bedok reservoir (running there is quite fun, with 10 + 30 degree inclinations and whatnots and you can see TP students as well LOL).

i just fear i am a step too late to prepare myself.

no matter, i shall not complain about BMT.

nope.

(there is simply no grounds for me to complain when you consider that 1) confinement only lasts 8 to 9 days thanks to chinese new year and 2) there is about 6 days worth of holidays (4 for cny, 1 for a level result day and 1 for good friday) excluding the expected release for friday/sat/sun))

(also, i worry about my a level results LOLOLOLOLLLLLOLOLOLOLOL (starts going into a trance again - ill leave this again in 2 months time)

--

anyway enough moody talk.

i got a job at MJC for about 2 weeks before i go NS. short yes, but i think it would serve as a good method to prevent me from having a full-blown paraonid attack aka OMGOMGOMGIAMGOINGINTONSIAMSOSCREWEDOMGOMGOMGOMG.

doing history admin stuff for the history department. hurray!

i dont know if i mentioned this, but if i ever become a teacher i would either teach chem, maths or history.

i simply like them. that is all.

also, i got my pay from my typing of notes during the december holidays. double hurray!

---

went to MJ open house on wed to collect my payday *cough*.

i kind of miss the mugging days.

also, mr wong seemed emo on that day (LOL - he cited it as 'tired' hmmmmm) and saw a whole lot of teachers that i knew, all asking about my NS date (which makes me sian lol).

oh well. at least i still get to work at the school for 2 weeks.

kinda wish my enlistment was in april.

---

before i end this post, i promise that i will make an evaluation of my JC years in MJ before i leave for NS.

yes, i promise.

also i will change the blogskin sometime in the future since the outline seems to be broken.

oh well, this skin served me well enough.

2009-12-15T00:49:00.009+08:00

prom - wasn't terribly interesting, neither was it entirely boring on the whole.

i was still suffering form jetlag (LOL 1 HOUR TIME DIFFERENCE, YOU FAIL GARY) at prom so i decided to maintain a low profile and just sit there and mull over some stuff.

also, i avoided the after-prom event (or whatever they call it). clubbing? no thanks, i swore off from places with beer/booze for a personal reason that i feel vindicated to uphold. also, i was also tired from the jetlag so i decided to make a quick exit home to get some rest.

fancy picking clothing on the same day as prom night. way to go gary for impromptu-ness. [although it couldn't be helped really, i only had half a day to get my gears so there wasnt any chance of picking what i liked or wanted]

i believe an award is in store for me for the 'most pathetically dressed person ever in a prom night'.

also, i shall make it a point to acknowledge that prom nights are somewhat not to my liking.

i prefer the cold, emotionless walls of a lab rather than prom. (olololol emo kid? nah, its just preferences, really)

maybe i shall avoid future prom nights, if there are any.
---

speaking of jetlag, vietnam was pretty much an eyeopener for me.

although i did not enjoy the trip in part due to my parents, the itineraries along with the local people were sufficient to offset that flaw.

basically if i have to sum up some things about vietnam, it would be these:

1) vietnam food was greeeeeeeat. perhaps even 'great' itself is an understatement at best. not only do they taste awesome, they are also healthier. speaking of which, any traveller worth his salt ought to try the beef noodles (pho). these noodles easily put those generic noodles in singapore to shame with a taste that transcends mortal boundaries. also, they're chucked full of vegetables but they compliment the noodles, the soup and the beef so well one would find it hard to complain about the sheer amount that is added into it. healthy dish ANDtaste great?

i wonder why the ministry of health has yet to find this and introduce pho into singapore. seriously, screw the "OMG LOL ITS HEALTHY EATING HEALTHY ACTION/ insert any generic programme", the answer is right in a neighbouring nation.

the solution is so clear. introduce pho for everyone in singapore. cut down the number of obese males entering BMT, and increase the longetivity of singaporeans.

oh, such a win-win situation! someone should phone MOH now.

2) this sounds cliche and is INDEED cliche, but i must say that singaporeans have it lucky.

singapore traffic being retarded/a bitch? wait till you hit saigon/ho chi min city. no mrt, bottleneck traffic in EVERY (nope, not an exagguration, really srs about it) corner you turn? certainly a living hell for the average singaporean. in direct contrast, those viets just take it in their stride and just live with it.

oh, did i mention that the extent to which an average vietnamese driver uses his/her honk/siren is akin how many times a flasher has flashed himself? in singapore, if you even use your siren once, you would probably be sent to the gallows for being a jerk.

of course, it has to be acknowledged that the honks are not for fun, its more of a means to signal the drivers ahead of him/her that he/she is overtaking which in my honest opinion, is a nice gesture really.

3) the average pay of a vietnamese seems to be pretty paltry.

USD $100-150 per month (according to the tour guide), and doing about the same thing as an average singaporean does? hmmm seems like double standards doesnt it?

also, before you go and say "lol but their stuff are cheaper so its allllright" i present you a simple comparison with the price of coke in singapore and vietnam:

price of a can of coke in singapore: $0.80 (approximate)
price of a can of coke in vietnam: 11000 dong

exchange rate as of 3 december: 1 sgd = 13657 dong

same price, but different pay rates? certainly makes me wonder how they manage to make a living.

N.B. in vietnam there is no macdonalds at all in any provinces/cities (LOL HA-HA CAPITALISM) so i have no choice but to use the (probably) next accurate means of measure instead of the well-established 'big mac exchange rate'.

4) makes me wonder about the US being an 'altruistic' superpower during the cold war.

yes, i acknowledge i'm probably childish by thinking that the USA is great and is ever-awesome (a bias that was shaped due to video games really, lol), but i do concede that the USA isnt totally innocent as well.

this trip to vietnam serves to solidify that stance.

experiencing it first-hand allowed me to understand the vietnam war without all the filtered propaganda (i will not dispute on how the information that i received could also be propaganda in nature, this i will leave it in the near future because it is simply a never-ending argument in whole) that is presented in the general news/readings.

atrocities committed by the US during the war itself is nothing short of devastating. the effects can still be felt up to now.

case in point: landmines, landmines, landmines and agent orange and the number of disabled citizens in vietnam due to agent orange (a biochemical that simply screws up your body and renders it useless)

5) vietnam is beautiful.

naturally-forming stalagmites over centuries.

great field day for the average geography student. hell, even a non-geography student can also learn a great deal out of it as well. (proof: me)

-

in short, vietnam, i really appericiate what you have offered. that is all.

oh and ill come back on my own in the near future as well.

---

gonna go play badminton at yishun sports stadium tomorrow.

can't wait for it, really.

---

still typing history stuffs.

almost done though ;p get to learn a lot of SEA history through typing alone.

maybe i should be a sadistic history teacher in the future! my, my. LOL.

2009-11-30T20:55:00.004+08:00

end of a levels.

i think i screwed up for my physics mcq. like a total fiasco, really.

--

will take the time to read some history stuff that i am tasked to type out.

great way to earn some pocket $, and at the same time learn some southeast asia history.

hey, $80 for typing notes out? count me in!

---

going to vietnam from the 2nd to 8th by force.

hopefully none of the following happens:

1. get shot by guerrillas
2. step on a landmine and spontaneously combust into a raging ball of fire
3. die of boredom (this is going to happen unless divine intervention occurs)
4. get involved in an exciting game of real-life battlefield vietnam (oh, who doesnt want to play an awesome rendition of the fabled fps game where you have much more surreal 3D graphics, catch being that you cant respawn on death?)
5. this list can just go on with my level of raging (see first segment of this post)

in short, i am not really looking forward to this trip.

to be blatantly honest, i prefer the company of my laptop/notes/friends/(insert any other remotely interesting stuff) than my parents by a longshot.

---

having made that declaration above, i can't wait for national service.

gotta keep myself up to shape after nearly 3 months of inactivity (oh my).

will go to east coast to jog again. really liked the scenery there.

--

i need a day or two to mull over my incompetence.

2009-11-14T00:50:00.006+08:00

end of KI paper.

was raining heavily so decided to join in with the gang to wait it out for the rain to stop.

ordered a cuppa coffee, and drank slowly while listening to the bunch.

at that moment there was no lingering thoughts, no ideas, no stress whatsoever.

just like how louis XVI wrote in his diary 'rien' during the fall of the bastille, i kind of felt the same way as he did, just inner peace.

its zen moments like this that i treasure the most.

2009-08-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

why do i have this unshakable feeling that im losing grip on my sanity...

---

"...go, and always remember no matter whatever happens, the choice was always yours to begin with"

a new phrase that will be engraved in my mind, no matter what.

---

reading george orwell's 1984 now.

pretty nice book to be brutally honest. beats those "OMG-HA-HA-CONFESSIONS-OF-(insert whatever person that are remotely interesting)" type of books by leaps and bounds, literally.

2009-07-15T01:55:00.003+08:00

i cant believe im still shedding some tears right now over that at 1.55 in the morning, with 6 hours left to school right after typing those chunks.

2009-07-15T01:26:00.006+08:00

a lot of stuff happened within this period of 1 week.

ill recall to the best of my memories.

---

i managed to re-secure my place at LT5 for chemistry.

talk about close call.

but unfortuantely i didnt manage to do so for maths. ugh.

(questions self)

but nice thing to note is that there's more of S205 people in LT5 now! [at least our class wouldnt look so small now]

---

few days ago, while i was having (very) early breakfast with dominic, mr lye just whizzed by (apparantly to grab his breakfast as well i suppose) and we had a chat.

by the end of the conversation i was tad surprised, perhaps because 1) i didnt expect the WR to be perfect (read: ZERO errors) when i know from the back of my mind that there were some flaws in the diagrams 2) it was featured in some MOE stuff and the WR's now in NYJC and its making its rounds around various JCs.

well, right at this juncture, if only all subjects were PW-style it would be a breeze, i swear. ahhahahhaha.

----

had archery on sunday.

out of 10 shots, 4 hit the woodwork. >.<

gotta train intensively after A's!

---

late morning.

so my physics teacher (a very kind lady, i must admit) was of course (without doubt) distraught at our class's performance for mid years (kind of expected, wasnt it). so she gave us a card to write and reflect on what happened (i.e. why did you screw up you moron/idiot/(insert flowery language))

so i just wrote what i really felt and just submitted it.

after school, 5.

i checked my handphone. there was a message.

"Hi dear gary, im sorry if i was too busy n negleted u. i've never given up on you. In fact i see inmprovmeents in u, though small but commendable. pls dun give up, you can do it. I dun wan to push u too hard, worried u too stress.I want to give u space and time. I will do my best for u. Lets try to work out a plan perhaps"

i was on the bus when i saw this message.

i shed several tears.

perhaps it was the lingering guilt that made me lost my composure (momentarily) on the bus, but the underlying fact is this:

i really appericiate it,cher.

thank you 'cher.

---

2009-06-19T00:50:00.001+08:00

gary, remember : mitigated skepticism, not total skepticism.

2009-06-18T00:50:00.002+08:00

as each day pass, i am always posed with this same question.

do i really exist?

to this end, if i just follow descarte's argument, then perhaps yes, i do exist.

but i cannot be sure of the fact that others may even exist. for all that i know, they could simply part of my vivid imagination. there is simply no real, concerete proof to counter that claim.

so do others really exist?

i can't answer that question for now.

---

the flu's taking a toll for the worse.

i just cant shake off the feeling that the magnitude of this flu pandemic will be on par with the black death.

---

i'm now having the exact same feeling again 2 years ago.

god, if only i can ask for a longer period of time to savour this final 6 months.

2009-06-03T21:25:00.003+08:00

on an unrelated note, whenever i walk around, i somehow have that unsettling feeling that people look at me for no apparant reason.

i find it pretty disturbing.

like seriously, did i do something wrong/funny/stupid/retarded/WTF/(insert adjective that describes gary as being a 'unique' person (*unique in this case doesnt necessarily equate to good))

i would just wished they would just tell me in the face. =/

maybe its just me and my introvertness kicking in, but hey, please dont make a poor guy feel uncomfortable. >.<

to this end, i guess ill just try not to look at others too much too.

--

personally, on reflecting on my cca, i felt that i could have done even more things.

sometimes i do wonder if im truly worthy of the vice-chair post after all.

--

on another note, i think i just found my calling.

2009-05-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

this week is going to be particularly tight.

history test, full blown
phy spa
chem test
and 3 full blown essay take home assignments that i feel VERY compelled to do within this week.
and KI IS too.

oh my gary, blame yourself for not finishing the 3 essays during the weekends.. ;p

--

on another note, silver for napfa! woots.

at least i no longer have to suffer the indignity of having to undergo PT for 2 months

[and yes, last year's PT following the failure of the first trial in may brought rather bad memories] - i bet its because of that that spurred me to finish this mess in one shot.

---

i really like drinking at starbucks/coffee bean all alone.

really elevates my mind off this metaphysical realm.

2009-04-01T21:04:00.002+08:00

its about time to face off.

2009-04-01T20:56:00.003+08:00

i find that the school's lack of faith in the students rather disturbing in nature.

kinds of makes me perturbed.

--

posting a small part of past photos as a form of compensation for lack of time.

cant remember the name of this device now, but it works by pouring liquid nitrogen into those dewar flasks.

i think if im not mistaken they were used to measure the rate of loss of temp.

the lab that i worked in for a month. to this date i still miss it.

my cousin's pretty pretty feline cat. o.o

perhaps when i walk back memory lane sometime in the future, it will remind me of the awesome fun that i had in jurong island/during december. ;p

2009-03-06T20:22:00.003+08:00

a level chinese results.

got a B, which was kind of meh (i really wanted an A though).

this kind of reminds me of the past.

PSLE - wanted to get into ngee ann, in the end settled for dunman (which was not really my ideal school at the start, but eventually i found the beauty of it)

o level chinese - wanted a A1, got an A2.

o levels itself - wanted 6-2 points, got 8-2 instead. [well this leads to the next premise of wanting to go to VJC but having to settle for TJC instead (but i decided to stay behind in MJ, and now am also seeing the true beauty of my choice)

cca - ... i shall not talk about this, would be too long.

in short, i am sick of having to settle for 2nd best.

---

on another note, wheeeeeeeee for scoring decently for integration test, B ftw.

and wheeeeee for 11~ minutes for 2.4.

2009-01-23T22:15:00.003+08:00

serenity in, serenity out.

*repeat*

(feels at peace once again)

2009-01-23T22:03:00.004+08:00

chinese new year concert ended on an anti-climax mood.

took me by surprise, to be honest.

--

all these CNY rehearsals and such, taught me something important.

that is, there is a fine distinction between working fast and being kanchong.

to this end, i felt that my personality and philosophy on life has shifted, slightly, from this.

2009-01-09T15:16:00.003+08:00

day 49.

last day of ICES attachment.

i really loved my lab coat
i really loved my ICES pass
i really loved my JTC pass
i really loved my supervisor for being so awesome
i really loved phong (NJC guy) for being awesome and helpful
i really loved the cafe@persek for offering countless stuffs (and rekindled my passion for ice creams)
i really loved the experiments
i really loved jurong island
[LOL - which highway in singapore has traffic lights? jurong island highway!
which highway in singapore has only 2 lanes? jurong island highway!
which highway in singapore is the least crowded? jurong island highway!]
i really loved the outram/jurong east shuttle bus
i really loved .. everything in this bloody institute.

in short, thank you ICES for putting up with this guy here. =).

2009-01-02T23:52:00.002+08:00

"every course of action, every decision made in this year, would undoubtedly have a profound effect."

damn straight.

isn't life just an exciting, imaginary game, just that it's only in stereoscopic vision and awesome graphics? XD.

2008-12-24T01:03:00.002+08:00

this christmas doesnt feel the same, really.

it seems to be overhyped, hyped to the extent that the true meaning of christmas is lost at the expense of commercialization.

--

i need to get some personal time.

poster is slightly harder than i anticipated.

2008-12-23T00:23:00.003+08:00

time to start cracking on the poster...

---

it just struck me that all i have done during the holidays are simply just

homework

attachment at ICES

playing game

weekend jog at east coast

whoops, looks like i have ignored the social aspect. meh.

but the level of enjoyment is simply awesome. plentiful of time to spend with myself.

(lol, i'm narcissistic but oh well)

---

and another off-topic, the new western store is simply a class of its own ; not even the best word to describe would justify its glory/greatness.

oh, im so smitten by that awesome black pepper steak =/

2008-12-02T09:39:00.008+08:00

day 12.

words still fail me on how much i love my labcoat.

also, a neat (bonus) feature for me - free access to overpriced journal sites!!!!1111111111

this will be unnaturally useful for my IS. hehhehe.

2008-11-27T15:44:00.000+08:00

mass spec test in 22 minutes time....

2008-11-27T14:20:00.001+08:00

being impasse for the time being.

oh well, capitalizing on how events unfold ftw.

2008-11-27T14:04:00.002+08:00

day 9.

1 more day to casino royale!

---

it suddenly struck me that jurong island IS city 17 from halflife.

=/

----

i wanna go back to ICES in the future! ><

2008-11-26T12:17:00.002+08:00

day 8.
casino royale!

time to splurge-- i mean err have good, enjoyable fun.

(not too sure if attachment students are entitled to gamble, LOL)

2008-11-25T11:36:00.003+08:00

day 7.

--

while on the shuttle bus to ICES, i heard this deejay on 933 that said this phrase:

"今天是星期二，only 3 more days to friday!"

i LOLed. like really, wtf?

2008-11-24T10:35:00.002+08:00

day 6.

the Pt-COad is a stabilized product! breakthrough!

---

shouldn't have come so early today.

didnt realize that my prof took a half-day off in the morning to see that his son gets into SJI (mind you, his kid just took his PSLE, and he had about 239 (damn you for scoring 5 points more than me t.t ) )

i was about to tell him to enroll for dunman until reality sank in and i realized that he stays in the west. =/

---

WHAT NO FRIED RICE TODAY?? *goes into rage and starts smashing the free tea and coffee pots*

---

so im here rotting till in the afternoon where there (should) be a discussion about findings. (as usual, ALWAYS subjective to change)

meh.

---

tried to use facebook, but its just way too alien for me.

=/

---

i shall not burn anymore time in this for now and start reading. =.=

2008-11-21T11:40:00.001+08:00

oh no, the jerries are here!

2008-11-20T17:07:00.001+08:00

end of day 4.

slightly earlier than expected, with some very promising results.

i feel better.

2008-11-20T15:54:00.003+08:00

when you see two person talking to each other on the corridor, with one person holding liquid nitrogen in a JUG (yes, a JUG) and its still FUMING, you know you've walked into the WTF zone.

this is SPARTAAAA- i mean ICES.

2008-11-20T15:38:00.001+08:00

seems like my prof's rather amibitious/steady/uber.

he intends to submit a research paper to some journal prior to him leaving on the 12th (bear in mind he's a foreigner [an angmoh at that] and my stint ends on the 12th, incidentally).

---

talks for a round 2 at ICES are in the pipelines.

if this succeeds i may be called back next year during the june holidays/decemeber holidays

(assuming that i still remain very guai lah. LOLOLOLOOLOLOLOL)

--

note to self : methanol @ 100% BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2008-11-20T15:14:00.004+08:00

day 4.

starting to see some results on the mass spectrometer with CO % rate and H % rate increasing.

heard there is an inherent failing rate on the mass spec and the FTIR.

does that make what i/my prof(aka Dr James Highfield)/phong(a very nice/awesome guy from NJC) had done totally useless? ><

---

gary's personal motivation to wake up very early in the morning at 5.50 in the morning and standing in the mrt for 30 minutes for 4 consecutive weeks : fried rice, one hashbrown and fried egg @ $1.70.

---

started a bit on IS.

hopefully i can make up for any further lost time.

---

next week's the public lecture @ NLB! woo.

---

i heard there is a possibility that i could get paid for this vocation in ICES.

o.o

2008-11-18T16:45:00.002+08:00

day 2.

passed the lab safety test! now i can enter labs officially

(ignoring the fact that i already violated it on day 1, entering the lab before they even let me sign our declaration forms or watching all the safety videos or the test in the first place, LOL)

--

about 45 minutes more before the shuttle bus comes to ICES and send me back to outram MRT.

i'm lost within the terms of TG (thermogravimetric analyser) and a list of spectrometric info. hopefully i should be able to wade out of this murky pool by tomorrow.

fried rice in the facility's canteen. is a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

yep. srsly.

--

cant take any photo's here in this ulu research facility, nor anywhere in jurong island, citing security as their reasons.

you know that those security personals meant it when you see them wielding M18's and SAR's and those badass (cool) shades.

damn.

--
partially tired. having to wake up at 5.50 in the morning, and reaching home at 8 in the night for the next 4 consecutive weeks without breaks.

lol.

but no biggie. kind of interesting when you see RJ people here too.

kind of made me admiring them for being that cool/carefree/happy-go-lucky.

(not too sure if cool is the correct term to describe, just somewhat unique in characteristics and personality.)

---

dont know what else to say for today.

2008-11-18T06:13:00.000+08:00

day 2.

gogoogogogogoogoogogo! continue the fight!

2008-11-06T01:34:00.003+08:00

time to party hard for just one day.

---

just one day =/ until the next race begins all over again.

2008-10-31T00:14:00.004+08:00

now looking back at PW, i wished it was solo work.

but no lost feelings, considering how my eom and op got featured by the project work committee and i&r comfortably settled on the first draft.
---

14 days to start of research.

time to start cracking on the 3000 word (lol, WR coming full circle again, this time on a solo basis with that KI touch) KI report and chem research.

this holiday is going to be very interesting. with my vaio =D

2008-10-01T23:28:00.003+08:00

http://www.historychannelasia.com/coldwar/seminar.aspx

i realized that the lecture is a day before the chinese a's.

SF@#OJR@(O#$JHO@#$J(PJ#(P@FJP@(P#F#PFJ@P(#HJF@#F!#@!#!$----

great, that means i'll have to self-ban myself from this lecture.

=/

...screw it, ill wait for the next one, i swear.

--

brb, initializing saving private cheena/pw. XD

2008-09-28T22:28:00.002+08:00

its history tomorrow.

woots.

*starts reading everything again, dancing to the tune of 'Sell Out'*

2008-08-22T18:12:00.002+08:00

the smartest people are those who can keep track of the main focus while being able to smell the flowers around them.

---

on another note, the prospect of running the whole east coast in the night on a weekend seems to be lingering in my mind.

2008-08-06T20:27:00.003+08:00

moe interview today.

nothing much in particular, except two things.

1 - those panelists are indeed true to their words, and
2 - even the most hardened terrorist who wishes to blow up this building would no doubt find it really, really difficult to do so (seriously, wtf with automated lifts without floor buttons - its literally controlled by security)

2008-07-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

russel's paradox and game theory is in effect as of today to tomorrow.

oh, add murphy's law too.

2008-07-01T04:27:00.001+08:00

good god.

i think i just won the game.

2008-06-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

tomorrow.

time to test the waters. hmmmmmmmmmmm.

2008-05-21T22:19:00.002+08:00

so... apologies for not posting for such a long time. but alas, time does not permit me to doodle around my blog =(

---

was filling up forms for the leadership training camp and the pe cca elective form a week ago.

me: eh whats my blood type ah?

mom: AB+ lor.

me: (gives perplexed look) AB+?

mom: yah lah, u dunno meh?

me: (still looking as stunned as ever) got such a blood type is it?

mom: dont believe just google and check lor.

google indeed i did.

http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0877658.html
http://mistupid.com/health/blood.htm

looks like i can never run out of blood should i bleed profusely. lol.

---

ill continue later with my vjc post.

the prospect of having to wake up at 4.30am tomorrow is indeed daunting and intimidating. =/

2008-05-08T22:45:00.003+08:00

this week is 10% of a normal acid trip that i have.

phy spa on tues.

ki, maths test and chem spa concurrently today + gpp.

ki presentation + pre-u sem rehearsal tomorrow.

history essay on saturday.

not the worst that i have seen, but its accountable for 20% of loss of sleep.

im awaiting for the true 100% acid trip one day, perhaps later during the year, or sometime in the future ><

---

gary is now the vice-char/chairman of ava.

something tells me that hell is going to break loose real quick the moment the seniors step down...

and...i am not exactly well versed in human communication ><
---

20% away from learning the entire "Dream Of The Shore - Near Another World" piano piece. XD

next...blue fields =/

---

ok, enough of little talk for now, got to finish history and ki and physics.

and that means eating into my worthless, time-bound sleep. =/

2008-04-26T01:01:00.003+08:00

sometimes i do feel that given a choice, i would rather be a hermit.

sometimes i really dont want to talk to people unless i have the need to do so.

sometimes i do wonder if im human.

sometimes i feel that talking less would make me feel much more happy.

sometimes i feel that being mute/deaf is a blessing in disguise.

somtimes i feel that talking to others is such a superficial thing.

---

unfortunately given the current scenario such a preposterous dream of mine would cease to exist.

2008-04-25T22:52:00.002+08:00

last week...

did the unthinkable. jogging at 8pm on a saturday. in mjc.

... and im repeating this for every saturday =D

---

council investiture on monday/tuesday.

there goes my chance to slack/relax =(

---

ill post later i guess. not really in the mood to write/upload many pics yet ><

2008-04-11T23:23:00.002+08:00

http://education.ti.com/educationportal/sites/US/productDetail/us_connectivitycable_silverusb.html?subid=3&topid=45

must get this for GC.

must get this for GC.

---

movie marathon was really tiring.

i think the next time i do something like this i got to get more sleep. ><

but overall still enjoyable (and somewhat hectic with all the pots and kettles). lol.

---

gotta go get some sleep first.

ill post the photos... i promise. XD.

2008-04-06T00:19:00.002+08:00

been skipping posts for quite some time.

---

maglev competition was a bit of a flop.

slightly disappointed, but i guess at least i get to know my friends more -- something i think is better than some $20 ben n' jerry ice cream voucher.

so much for preparing beforehand.

and i'm beginning to get the concept that the only way to win anything is to work solo =/

---

screwed history test.

arrrrrrrrrrrgh~

--

finally in meridian, the first time i have to stay from 7am-9pm. lol.

who was the one that said that JC life was tough?

try taking D&T at sec 4 and you get what i mean. =/

---

choosing av was probably the best choice i could ever make.

kickass teachers, kickass people, kickass seniors.

seriously, what more can i ask for? XD

---

i think i flunked my chance to get the DSTA scholarship.

sigh.

*emo*

*slashwrist*

---

oh yah, minister dialogue talk yesterday at 10.20am.

its seriously the most serious/hilarious/insert words that associates with the term "LOL" dialogue i had ever had.

khye pointed out this : "hello mr masagos, how are your wife and my kids?"

"hello mr masagos, are you still single?"

"hello mr masagos, are you looking for love?"

... and the list of neverending craptastic remarks continues prior to the start of the talk. this could potentially evolve into a parody show. =/

then he came in,along with miss lai (the principal) and blahblahblah vice principal etc. the serious part began.

it was rather insightful contrary to what i thought before the start of the talk(jeez, seriously who would think that a person from the gov sector would
talk nothing but "lol, gov > you kthxbai")

...apart from several unnoticed bloopers that only me and zixi detected

"....we may be a first-world nation, but our people are behaving like second-world or even third world nation people"

question : so we are communists? (2nd world nations refer to communist nations which are developed) XD

my question on the c-class bed issue was read out by those pre-u seminar kids! score 1 for gary!

oh and we skipped chem makeup lecture as a result. whooooooooooooooooo~

...and we got free food too!! =D
----

the dnt award was quite ok.

got the $120 voucher, and free books etc.

totally worth it when i think about it now. damn useful for proj work. LOL.

will post pics later. i guess =/

---

2008-03-06T22:31:00.002+08:00

today. i have found what i have left behind in dunman after o levels.

the way i would live life as if i am in control of everything i do in/for/outside school.

the way where i would be happy regardless of anything.

thank you for staying with me for the past 4 years(and kudos for the last year especially).

thank you. ill never ever leave you behind.

never even when im on my deathbed.

----

interview's this saturday.

i have not prepared the questions yet.

as usual, ill be damned if i do get to the second round of the interviews.

=/

---

2008-03-03T21:53:00.003+08:00

i dont know why. but i just feel that i dont even hold a candle against her.

she's like so smart(in the s1 series) while im just a standard student in the s2 series =/

oh man. i feel like im playing second fiddle to her.

did someone mention inferiority complex?

sigh.

----

interview's tomorrow.

i guess all i have is courage, my wits and my secondary school achievements(are they really considered achievements actually?).

---

first official KI lesson today.

its very fun, but at the same time, its very demanding.

i liken KI to D&T, only exception is that D&T is technical while KI is language aspect.

but i have a phobia of voicing out myself, to be honest.

but ill try.

---
just in case that i forget...

i must make an effort to borrow meridian blazer.

i must make an effort to borrow meridian blazer.

i must make an effort to borrow meridian blazer.

i must make an effort to borrow meridian blazer.

>.<

---

and another reminder

i must prepare my FAQ questions by friday.

i must prepare my FAQ questions by friday.

i must prepare my FAQ questions by friday.

i must prepare my FAQ questions by friday.

---

this is probably the tightest week i would ever experience to date.

2 interviews, 2 awards, tons of paperwork.

zzz.

--

2008-02-26T21:33:00.003+08:00

27/2. deadline for pre-u seminar application form.

28/2. deadline for DSTA scholarship application.

hurrah, and now its the 26th.

AND i have yet to fill up any of them yet.

AND i have yet to print out all the revalent documents.

its time to pull off another "OMG TJC ACCEPTED ME LOLOLOL EVEN THOUGH I HANDED IN 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE DEADLINE" stunt again~

---

good god, tan kah kee inventions interview.

i better get prepared for another volley of FAQ's.

---

this is atlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas! XD

2008-02-21T23:54:00.002+08:00

i seriously hope i go back into S205, and no other classes.

i seriously hope so.

--

it would be a farce if i said i wouldnt be discouraged or hurt by any means.

but im fine with it.

for i know that its for your own good.

its ok. its my fault.

ill never blame you for this.

its fate..

---

2008-02-20T21:46:00.002+08:00

appealed to tjc, and got accepted. but i rejected it.

i can imagine the huge masses of people swearing at me right now but o well.

apparently my pitiful attempts in applying to tjc as a last resort to ensure that i enter mjc on a good conscience backfired spectacularly and i got accepted.

oh well.

on a positive note, i managed to "sway" an organization to my advantage. hooo~
---

YEEEEEEEEES IM TAKING KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

hurrah.

---

will i regret on my decision to back down from my appeal? maybe.

in fact as im typing this i do feel a tinge of remorse.

only time will tell if i do regret.

only time. =D

---

im going all out for the DSTA scholarship. oooooh yeah!

2008-02-10T09:05:00.000+08:00

this is a conversation between 4-5 male relatives including me during CNY visiting.

---

guy 1(grad. from VJC approx 10+ yrs ago): so which jc are you going to?

me : err.....i dont really know

guy 1:dont think lah, just come vjc, very fun, ppl like you go there sure win one.

guy 2(grad. frm tj):dont listen wat he say. he joker one. come over tj, chop chop tons of fun, we got things like mardi'gras*(sp?)

me: muddy grass?

guy 2 :yah. better than vj, super big campus and good chers. wat u expect.

bro(from tpj): dont listen them talk cock lah, tpjc best, see i can even go uni,doesnt matter where u go one.

(from this juncture on 3 of them started arguing which was better for me)

me: >.<|| (in a loss for words as i attempt to shy away from the conversation)

-------
N.B. mardi'gras is a festival that occurs in tj. only understood what it was when i asked him what is it exactly that he enjoys playing with a patch of muddy grass in a field =/
----

2nd conversation during cny visitng.

relative : so which jc are you in now ah?

me: meridian lor.

relative : meridian? got such a junior college one meh?

me: =.=||

----

with each passing day my mind's thinking of whether to stay, or move on.

somehow im evenly split with either actually >.<

damn =(

a week more to the final decision..

2008-01-30T18:19:00.001+08:00

meridian jc - an inquiry into the mugger school

for those who have already chosen mjc as your first choice, welcome.
ill be pointing out Point Of Interests (PoI) within the school compound, anything that makes me tick/laugh/lol/whatever other than sian.

library@meridian - your one-stop-kickass-area to watch anime on youtube. other than that, you can do your homework too(but seriously, watching anime > homework kthxbai).

the walkway to the podium.

you're lookin at the C block (taken from the G(?) block -- lab block for short) where the classrooms exist.

tempo classrooms! they're equipped with aircons. <3

this fountain was still under construction during the PAE orientation period. now you lucky JAE bastards will get to enjoy the full extent without the construction =(

side view of the fountain, with the leture block(in blue) and C block(in white) in the foreground.

the podium(or as what the principal prefer to call it assembly plaza, probably a miserable attempt to make it sound more chic).

this is what you see when you get out of the lecture theatre on the second floor.
there are 5 lecture halls, with LT4 being the largest (approx 200-300 seater) and LT1 the smallest (<80 seats).

synthetic pitch. grandstands. need i say more?

this is LT5, the medium-sized theatre.

and in front of you is a big-assed screen. meh =(

and the toilets, i must point out, looks way more appealing than dunman's one. =/

hall. equipped with about 20 airconditioners and... wait, thats it.

hall of fame! for those ambitious/adventurous ones who're taking up leadership roles, ur face will be splat wide open for others to ogle at.

---

there are approx 15 more pictures, but i cant be bothered to upload them, cause it just takes too long to upload. zzz

2008-01-30T18:19:00.000+08:00

the "oooh yeah" syndrome in atlas 5 is crazy.

teacher : "ok, since you guys are all so good, ill give you only one tutorial today."

us: "oooh yeah"

teacher : "but you must hand in tomorrow."

us(seriously,wtf): "oooh yeah"

teacher : "oh and there's a test tomorrow."

us(now filled with angst): "OOOOOH YEAH!!!!!!!!"

=/
--

quite a lot of people moving to poly(and im talking about 7,8 pointers) and vjc too =/

sianed mood. lol.

--

something tells me that i should just stay put at MJC, and putting mj as second choice really doesnt make me feel any better.

oh well, appeal button ftw.

2008-01-24T23:44:00.001+08:00

not posting today. o level is overrated. gg.

anyway going to post an inquiry on meridian jc tomorrow. with screenshots =)

2008-01-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

and ill do a rickroll if i pull this off.

=/

2008-01-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

heard of the term damage mitigation?

you can bet for sure that im prepared for a worse-case scenario.

---

ill be damned eternally for this.

literally.

2008-01-19T00:37:00.000+08:00

the night is just way too young.

still got one script to write out.

---

excited.

niece's wedding at 10am! sheeze!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

---

a week to go...

2008-01-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

finally, back from a whirlwind tour of 3 poly campus, SP,NYP and NAP(bonus poly!).

all in 5 hours. wooooots lol.

---

do you have no idea on what to choose on your JAE?

do you feel helpless on the wide variety of polys you have to select?

if you answer yes to either of the question, this guide is for you!

this simple yet effective guide on selected polys is the key to your future!

based on unabridged and wacky viewpoints, this "non-cynical" and "objective" guide will point you the way to success*!

[disclaimer*: by reading this guide, you hereby agree to Section 39, Penal Code 90 whereby you will not hold the author of the guide(me, lololol) of any responsibility held due to unforeseen circumstances such as internal bleeding in the brain while reading or a decrease in your IQ after understanding the guide. the author reserves all rights to hold this guide in his possession till kingdom comes.]

this guide points out 4 polys, namely temasek,ngee ann, singapore and nayang poly.

all test subjects are categorized based on pros and cons(just like an argument, duh) following by a kickass rating scale from 1 to 10, 1 being totally hopeless and you're better off committing suicide by slashing your wrist, while 10 means that its,well...perfect(everything you see/do in there is simply epic win).

starting off, temasek poly!

pros:

+HOLY #$@% ITS MACDONALDS IN A POLY!!!!!!!!!!11one
+brownie points for having the best goody bag!
+very,very,very good library system/facilities
+near central area(~5-10 min bus rides to tampines int.)
+facilities are rather well-maintained
+free wireless in campus!
+there's also a Cheers convenient store too! hurray for 24/7 web surfing in campus!
+wide variety of japanese sweets available in the stationary store(kawaii~)
+very helpful lecturers generally(personal experience here)
+looks rather modern

cons:
-very less chiobu![kinda because its the wrong side of sg, heh]
-canteen food are not very nice(save for Jupiter Cafe and the eng block canteen)
-quite a few buses there, which brings me to the next point...
-buses are often packed like hell
-the blocks are spaced out too wide, hard to navigate about
-the toilets arent one of the better ones that i have seen before. =(

kickass rating : 7.33333333333333333333/10

personal favourite course in this poly : biotech/IT/design/engineering
--

ngee ann poly

pros:

+variety of food there is really cheap, and nice
+bonus points for quite a no. of chiobu!
+quite a lot of facilities outside school i.e shopping centres
+very helpful lecturers generally(personal experience here)
+you get to have a ibook in this campus! bonus points!
+unique architectural landscape
+very, very big campus
+bubble tea stores present in the library!
+can play counterstrike in the library too!

cons:

-considerably far from clementi interchange(approx 10-20min bus ride)
-the place looks rather ulu in nature(considering that one side faces the expressway, the other facing some unknown road and on the opposite side, forests)
-very hard to navigate through the campus
-some of the buildings looks decrepit
-sports facilities i.e basketball courts are not maintained well (looked very worn off with markings not visible anymore and the hoop rotting in the grass)

kickass rating : 10 to the power of infinite/10 for chiobu!

ok, nevermind, in the name of fairness and justice, actual rating : 8.5/10

personal favourite course in the poly : anything that allows me to purchase that ibook. drooooool

--

singapore poly

pros:
+chiobu, chiobu, chiobu. seriously, why isnt it in the east =(
+downtime period to travel from interchange to campus = 0 (its just beside the mrt station)
+very big campus
+campus buildings compliments each other and even the mrt station(they look as if they're one if not for mrts whizzing by)
+very modern
+a big-shot poly(spends money like no tomorrow on machines and products as shown on the open house)
+offers unique courses not available in other polys (aviation)
+only poly that has a strict stance on trespassers (in order to enter the poly, you have to go through gates which resemble mrt gantries by tappin' your poly card)
+rather clean toilets

cons:
-very hard to navigate. to the extent that it becomes annoying.

kickass rating : 8.555555555555555/10

personal favourite course in the poly : aviation/eng.
-----

nayang poly

pros:

+HOLY #$@% ITS MACDONALDS IN A POLY!!!!!!!!!!11one
+mac's food prices are subsidized by approx 25% [a medium coke which costs 2 bucks outside only costs 1.45 in the campus.] which means that everyone will go high on coke and burgers
+easy to navigate, there are way TOO MANY signs which tells you where to go, if you ever get lost, please smack yourself in the head
+relatively small campus(seriously, whats the point of over-spacing?)
+bonus for chiobu too! ahhhhhhhh
+bonus for best architecture layout
+bonus for the cleanest/nicest toilets
+perfect landscaping
+located very near the interchange (<10 minutes walking speed as seen on advertisements in mrt trains , i only took 4 minutes based on my speed)
+only poly that offers diplomas[i.e radiation therapy] to A LEVEL STUDENTS (yes no joke, only a level students, gg)
+cheers is also available in the campus too!
+free wireless throughout the campus!
+there's also a giodarno store present too?!?!?! jeez
+not to mention there is also a gaming store too, at subsidized prices of 10-20%
+wide variety of food available
+only poly that has artwork/designs that really impressed me
+snooker/billiard is also available just next door beside the campus = happy hours!

cons:

-which sick macdonalds outlet in singapore is NOT AIRCONDITIONED?? zzzzzzz
-i think that a lot of people in the campus will become overweight due to cheap mac, 24/7 cheers store, and cheap tees
-and also anderson JC and NYP looks like rivals with both sides facing off with each other with distrust just on the opposing side of the road

kickass rating : 9.3/10. this would be the one of my choice if i ever move my house to yio chu kang.

personal favourite course in the poly : radiation therapy/occupational therapy/design/eng

---

so there you have it! the most objective viewpoints, coming from your fellow o level grad student.

i hope that you have been 'enlightened'.

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

------

also one notable observation i saw : 75-80% of the people who visits the open houses are girls.

---

ill be damned if i dont screw my o levels.

damned.

---

ok, time to continue studying. meh.

history! wheee. 4 page essays for the win!

2008-01-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

based on 2 day's worth of lectures, i can conclude several things -

1 - surviving jc requires sheer conviction and faith. ya rly!

2 - kickass teachers in a jc are really a rare commodity. if you have one, consider it your lucky year.

(kickass history teachers that watches Borat on a daily basis and plays war games like rise of nations are a bonus)

3 - jc is a do-or-die one-shot-must-win scenario. a a-level cert is worthless imho as compared to a diploma.

4 - homemade notes are crap. school-based notes = epic win.

5 - more unique stuffs to understand and know.

---

not looking forward to o level results which are coming out in a week or two's time.

nah-uh.

but i'm mentally prepared to downgrade myself should the need arises.

2008-01-01T20:15:00.000+08:00

happy new year.

---

tomorrow.

its a free-for-all scenario where every word uttered will be observed.

---

ah, and thanks for the very, unexpected new year surprise.

for the first time, its a REAL surprise.

something that makes me go "OMGOMGOMG WTF??? NO WAI!!!!!!!11111"

---

lastly, thank you dunman, for putting up with this joker for four years.

for that, i salute you.

and i hope ill be part of this school in the future, someday, somehow.

---

act one begins in 10 hours time....

2007-12-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

a tribute to dan fogelberg.

god now has another angel in his choir.

2007-12-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

quick posts, since i know that i have a lot of stuff to do =/

-------

this, is my brother's cabinet.

i have no idea why on earth he took chem anyway.

i told you, organic chem was going to be fatal somehow,someday.
(looks at the thick book on organic chem alone, shudders in total fear as i slash myself repeatedly with a USB port)

off topic, i totally respect him inspite of the fact that i dont really like him for such unprecedented leetness.

a quick sketch of my lamp while i was taking a break at the hospital.

drawn with my trusty 0.7 black pen.

does it look nice? please tell me =D

my table is in a mess. if a fire ever breaks out, i sure as hell wouldnt want to stay in my room =/

coffee! well not really....tea, coffee...mixture ba.

taken this during friday's outing.

--

and zomg, i cant believe, i am a WINNAR for the moe dnt awards.

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooots

(lol, hardly get to have such luck anyway to win anything anyway, so there is a need to boost my alterego =/)

--

later~

2007-12-04T00:37:00.000+08:00

it would most certainly be an honour for me if i do survive this week.

messy week =/

2007-11-25T23:11:00.001+08:00

this has to be divine intervention -- 2 shots in a row, bullseye.

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

-----

3 things i learned while 'experimenting' in the kitchen -

1- never, ever attempt to mix red wine with white wine. bad,bad,bad mistake. tested and proven, tastes....nevermind, it makes me tipsy.

2- cooking red wine with beef provides a rather nice sauce for your pasta.

3- never serve pasta just by boiling. you're courting death. pan-fry it with garlic or something for enhanced flavouring.

and of course, you will NOT get knocked out eating this beef spaghetti, all the alcohol content would had been boiled out anyway (remember, 78 degrees =))

im a happy boy just by savouring the sauce =D

--

shishamo tastes perfectly good. =/

--

2007-11-21T22:27:00.001+08:00

sanity is apparently in short supply in this region of chaos.

---

scripts - checked

courage - checked

health - checked(well sore throats and chronic coughs won't stop me)

clear-state mind - checked (empty)

confidence - eh where do i buy this from?

2007-11-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

this makes me weep at times. =/

---

i never felt this unprepared for the interview.

damn.

2007-11-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

having a real sharp migraine right now.

hopefully things will go better in the times to come.

--

if i pull off this interview, ill be damned.

damned.

2007-11-18T17:27:00.000+08:00

let me show you some of my prom pictures.

wait. i didnt go. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLROFLPOCKEY

if you're wondering where is this, this is changi airport terminal 3.

free tickets for the win? =/

oh and its nice too isnt it.

check-in counters.

btw this airport costs 1.75 billion of taxpayer's money. zzz.

look at the vines on the wall. how charming.

perfumes, perfumes, perfumes!

the lifts.

close-up on the check in terminals. i dont have to pay 3 dollars because i have free tix. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

something that the average singaporean look forward to having. =/

departure hall entrance.

you can see the scaffoldings too!

close-up on the wall vines. amazing isnt it.

side view of departure hall.

arrival hall!

the air conditioning. looks like your conventional hair dryer. only enlarged. =/

tell me - what do you see?

entrance to the transit area. =/

lounge. stuck right in front of the transit entrance.

gate A. apparantly they dont follow the normal convention of foxtrot. =/

2007-11-15T07:38:00.000+08:00

while everyone is buying all their prom stuff i suppose...

i guess ill continue to work in the school =/

hey at least im not spending money, nor am i rotting away in a corner at borders reading books =D

---

oooh eagles' new album is really a godsend. XD

its quite nice actually and it really breaks the boring punk rock etc music that has been polluting the airwaves every now and then..

--

2007-11-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

fun and enjoyment only lasts for so long...

welcome to life =) grab life by the horns -- fun and 'saving the princess' objectives are for noobs =D

2007-11-10T22:27:00.000+08:00

knowledge is the cornerstone of our society.

./signed

ill care to elaborate more, once i finish another 300 more mcq..

2007-11-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

(click me click me!)

a testament of my learning curve in tf2 =/

btw got the orange box about 2 days ago (the first day i spent finishing hl2 and portals in one go)

XD

---

200 chem mcq done, 360 phy mcq done.

740 more to go in 2 days! woooo!

2007-11-08T06:18:00.002+08:00

watching raindrops cascading down the window near my bed does feel good for no reason while i read a book from the library under a victorian-age lamp. =/

2007-11-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

after doing 169 mcq questions i realized that im totally indebted to information and knowledge.

im beginning to feel the withdrawal symptoms of not getting new info =/

i always read e newspaper, times, newsweek, readers digest and anything i can lay my hands on. without fail prior to my weekday run. come to think of it its really scary. it somehow creeps me when im the only one having such a routine as compared to other 16-neers who are like simply having fun, going out blahblahblah (insert hobby,sport,whatever that counts)

the blood elves are addicted to spells, im addicted to info.

ahhhhh. im getting reallly way too off for this.

i cant live without information.

take anything you can from me. take money, take love for all that i care

but dont take my info =/

just dont =(

---

im not giving up mcq.

not when the scholarship is at hand. no waaaaaaay.

but well... a little team fortress wouldnt hurt x)

---

im going to work in the hospital with my mom. woooo!

now would patients mind if a 16-year old boy do injections for them? =D

oh and spare the white suits =/

2007-11-07T04:55:00.000+08:00

3 things that i must improve by this holiday --

drawing of inanimate objects
piano
... i havent thought of the last one.

that should keep me partially occupied for now.